I write articles for attorneys, religious/spiritual leaders, government leaders, mental health experts, employers and employees with solutions for respectful and healthy work environments. My articles have been featured in The Good Men Project and Thrive Global. My book "The Empowered Whistleblower" was written after being bullied in a former job. My second book, "Solutions to Workplace Bullying and Discrimination" will be on the market once it's published. I have been honored to join in as a co-author for "The Strength of My Soul" and "Stand” Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying" books.
About The Author: Dawn Marie Westmoreland
MM/HRM, CPC, CH
Speaker, Podcaster, Author, Mentor, & HR Consultant
NARCISSISTIC PEOPLE CAN MAKE THE BEST TEACHERS IN LIFE
This week, I heard a soft knock on the front door of my home. As I opened it, I saw two blonde-headed girls around seven and eight, smiling broadly at me. Their happy smiles were contagious! The youngest of the two held her pet chicken in her arms, while the other little girl was stroking the chicken. They were selling inspiration quotes they had written on decorative paper. How could I resist? I found some change in my wallet and handed it to the oldest girl. The experience was so positive and inspiring! I could not help but wonder if they would maintain their positivity and inspiration when they grew up to be adults. I sincerely hope so!
My experience with the two young girls reminded me of adults who initially acted friendly to me but had intentions of using or abusing me. That's what narcissistic people do—they trap you into their web of deceit and lies. They do things to make you feel appreciated, validated, and heard. Then the process of narcissism unfolds into gaslighting, bullying, lies, and mistreatment. The person who experiences the wrath of a narcissistic person often does not see the ugly behavior coming. These people can be very smart, but they use their skills to harm others. The damage created by someone who mistreats another person can create long-lasting harm and trauma. It has a negative rippling effect on the mistreated person, and it significantly affects those close to them
As I have gotten older, it's been easier to detect people who are on a mission to harm or use me. My intuition kicks in, and I pay attention to how I feel around people. Sometimes, I have experienced the creepiest feeling, even though the person exuded sugary sweet kindness. Eventually, a person is going to show their true selves. It's been a very educational journey as I learned how to deal with each narcissist, whether in the workplace or personal life.
There is something to be learned by someone who mistreats others. We can learn about setting boundaries, holding them accountable, moving to a job where we are treated with respect, and that we don’t have to be around them. They are “master teachers” in our lives. They work in all kinds of career fields and especially in jobs where they can dominate people. I have witnessed psychologists using and mistreating people. Yikes! You would think that they had sworn to an oath of serving people with respect, but that is not always the case.
If you have ever dealt with an abusive narcissist—learn from the experience. Discern on what you learned from that experience. If you experience trauma from a narcissist—seek help with a qualified mental health professional. The bottom line is that every experience with a “bad acting” person can fuel us to make healthy choices that empower each of us.
This articles was originally published: